For years, decades even, I have seen my sensitivity as a curse that I try to pretend doesn’t exist, or I have tried to explain it away as a momentary thing, or I have tried to overcome it, or ignore it, or change it, all of course to my own detriment in the long run.
It’s one of those things that I feel I have to make excuses for “sorry I can’t watch this movie, I’m just a bit sensitive”, or “sorry I can’t stay late at this party, it’s a bit much for me, I’m very sensitive”, or “sorry, I can’t eat that, my body is a bit sensitive”, or “sorry, I know I said I’d come along, however it doesn’t feel right anymore, so I can’t, I’m very sensitive”. It’s like a constant apology in motion, something that I have to be sorry for, because it isn’t really convenient for this society, to have to deal with people who are sensitive to energies, people and their environment.
Too many “sensitive” people are taking drugs and medication, just so that they can fit in with the norm and be ok with things that they aren’t ok with. I myself have spent many years exploring all of the ways that I could “fix” this problem of being overly sensitive to the world. Nothing worked long term, because the thing is, anything that numbs you to your sensitivity, numbs you to everything and any highly sensitive person knows, that living a life not feeling anything deeply, is not a life worth living.
So I have struggled with this part of my nature, learning to not just acknowledge my sensitivity (that’s easy), but to accept it (not so easy) and perhaps finally embrace it (really, really not easy) and to hopefully get to a point where I truly believe that being sensitive isn’t so terrible but could actually be a gift (my greatest desire)….suffice to say, it’s a work in progress.
But today I had a lesson that brought me closer to seeing my sensitivities as a gift and brought me closer to understanding how depression and other emotional/physical symptoms, could actually be a fantastic way for self-aware and sensitive people, to learn how to live an incredibly aligned and balanced life….
I’m currently on a 24day health protocol/regime and today, day 18, I started to feel not so great. Don’t get me wrong, I felt ‘not so great’ at the start too but in a good way, in a way that felt beneficial, you sensitives know what I mean. This ‘not so great’ feeling however, was an awareness that my heart was feeling numb and something wasn’t right within me, it no longer felt beneficial. I could’ve done what I’ve been told to do a hundred times before when I’ve felt this way and list all the things I’m grateful for, not dwell on it, find something pleasurable to distract me, or just ‘let it go’, or even learn to ‘accept’ it….however, in my experience, that kind of spiritual bypassing doesn’t work for sensitive, hyper-aware people in the long run. We can’t pretend we don’t feel what we are feeling, we can’t distract ourselves from the truth forever, we can’t minimize something that we are feeling through to the very depths of our souls, regardless of how tangible (or not), it may seem to others.
So I spoke about my feelings to a trusted friend and I mentioned my issue to my practitioner and guess what? Within those judgment free discussions, with being truly authentic, speaking my whole truth, voicing the depth of my awareness around what I was feeling, not feeling and experiencing, and in reflecting and sharing the knowing I have of myself and my patterns of behaviour, we were able to find resolution that brought peace and balance back into my physical and emotional body. That’s right, me honouring the symptoms that were presenting, instead of hiding from them, or ignoring them, or trying to positive think them away, meant that I was able to tweak some things in my 24day protocol to bring it back into alignment with what MY body needs, not just the generic one size fits all approach. Me having a deep awareness of my personal patterns, my normal behaviours, my sense of balance, happiness and emotional well-being, meant that before things got bad, I was able to address and re-balance the situation, mindfully and maturely.
What a wonderful way to realize on an even deeper level, how my sensitivity and self-awareness are actually gifts that I can use, to bring more harmony, health and happiness into my every day, if I choose to honour and trust it…what a gift to realise that being sensitive could be beneficial to me, instead of a burden! Now that is a gift worth having!
So just incase your sensitivity is overwhelming you during this holiday season, here are a couple of articles that might help you understand how your sensitivity is a gift to you and others as well!
Lots of Love
1) Sensitive people get to feel the good stuff more deeply
2) Sensitive people can be very empathetic
3) Sensitive people can be very perceptive
4) Sensitive people can embrace new concepts very deeply
5) Sensitive people can be very creative
6) Being sensitive encourages people to practice excellent self-care
7) Sensitive people are very aware of their surroundings
1. Sensory detail
2. Nuances in meaning
3. Emotional awareness
5. Greater empathy
1. Easily overwhelmed, or overstimulated
2. Affected by emotions of others
3. Need lots of space and time to ourselves
4. Unhealthy perfectionism
5. Living out of sync with our culture