As I began to realize that this way wasn’t working for me, it was difficult relinquishing the power that comes from being a good “masculine” in this society that rewards and encourages masculine traits and behaviours. However, I knew, deep inside that I couldn’t go on this way, it was time for a shift, time to embody the feminine. I had already proved that I was a good man, now it was time to reclaim my femininity, to give myself full permission to acknowledge and honour that divine inner essence that I had been suppressing for so long. I had always revered women, yet I denied it within myself on a daily basis.
Over the years I had explored many things while still predominately living in my masculine way. I explored women’s circles, women’s rites of passage, sacred sexuality, Taoist women’s teachings and they all let me have a taste of what my divine spirit was wanting to live. It took becoming pregnant though, to fully ground and embody the complete, raw, wild, overwhelming and chaotic nature of the feminine in her power. However, being a single mum for many years still kept me living and working from the masculine. Needing to protect, provide and support my family didn’t allow much space, time or energy for immersion into the being and receiving state that creates space for woman to experience her radiant self regularly.
I kept hoping that one day, the masculine would come along, perhaps in the form of a good man, my man and take some of these pressures off me so that I could practice my feminine. However, 1 day I realized that it was me that needed to take the 1st step. It was me that needed to take the leap of faith. I made the decision to start living in my feminine. I entrusted the universe with providing the masculine where and when I needed it and to the best of my ability I let go of needing to manage, control and live in fear of how I was going to make it work. So liberating to make that jump, so life changing to hand it over, to let go of the ‘shoulds’ and finally, completely honour my feminine nature.
Within 2 months my whole life had changed. The universe, god, the goddess, cosmic consciousness or whatever you choose to call it had validated and rewarded my leap of faith. Being supported didn’t always look like I thought it should, or come through who I thought it would. However, when I learned to say YES, to gratefully receive through whomever, or whatever the universe had provided at that time, that is when a new feeling of openness and abundance, started to take form.
Every day I receive more learning’s on what it looks and feels like to be in my feminine and now that I feel honoured in my feminine, my respect for the masculine has also grown.
Every day is a dance between the internal and external yin & yang dynamics but now I am learning how to balance the 2 while still honouring my natural, powerful, sensual, radiant self as woman!
“…May I touch myself, my life and all others in beauty
May I walk the blessed beauty way
Great spirit may I walk in beauty.”
Are you ready to “Honour the Feminine” in your life!