The term Single parent is much more accurate but still doesn’t truly reflect the situation of having to be both Mother and Father, sometimes simultaneously, (is that even possible), as I try and raise a child on my own. I am in this constant juggle of wanting to be in my natural femininity of loving and nurturing and being gently aware and connected, which comes up against the other needs of discipline, setting up chore lists and policing them, as well as needing to be on top of my own and my child’s time management, as well as creating and keeping to a schedule, whilst holding space for her emotions, to be the provider emotionally, physically and financially, and all whilst encouraging her beauty and growing maturity and still trying to find time to actually just be me, whatever that is, in this confusing and overwhelming mish mash of ever changing roles and transitions between my own masculine and feminine nature.
“As a single parent I am constantly having to be both…so maybe I am a Fother, or a Mather…there’s got to be a better word!”
To clarify, for me Mothering means being in my feminine (whatever that means to me) and Fathering means to be in my masculine (whatever that means to me)…masculine and feminine are fluid terms for many people.
For some single parents this may not be a bother, however for me, with my Libra Moon and with Libra Rising, I am ALL about the balance and harmony within and without. Couple this with my Leo need to be authentic and in integrity with how and who I am in the world and it can be a crazy making situation! I am all about finding harmony in my relationships, my relationship with self, with life and with others, so I can’t even begin to succinctly describe how hard this balance is to maintain for myself, when I am almost forced to be something I am not, so frequently, within my days, every day, day after day, after day…this is the thing I think people don’t understand when they think about single mothers…
They don’t think about whether we actually ever signed up to a be a father, they don’t think about how much of the time we are required to be something that WE ARE NOT and that we often times become so used to being stuck in this enforced role, this something else, that we forget who we truly are. They don’t think about whether we actually get to be fully juicy, surrendered, open, nourishing and loving women anymore, because who is holding space for that to happen, when we are always holding space for another? And lets not even start on when society does see single mothers as being juicy, open and loving women, the shaming that occurs can be deafening!
I have had enough of being in my masculine and I know I have said this before, but really in this Yang valuing society, it takes constant mindfulness to not just drop into the masculine way of doing things by default…so I am even more eager to gain more clarity on all of the ways that I can quickly and deeply bring myself back into my feminine way of being, for my own health and well-being and so that I can be the role model I actually want to be for my daughter…
So that has forced me to re-evaluate my current list of Yin creating experiences and whether they are working for me or not…this list includes reading fictional books, dancing around like a crazy person to my favourite music, meditating more and creating space to be in my creative flow, without distractions, more often!
I have even had the delight of re-visiting my EMPOWERING the Feminine online course, as well as my free “How to Fill Your Cup” mini immersion and its been quite a relief to realise I’ve done so much of the work already, now it really is just finding ways to remind myself regularly, of what I already know…I would also love to hear about the wicked, wonderful and creative ways you all find to come back into your feminine alignment in the midst of this over-achieving society and our many responsibilities…please share!
Send you all Lots of Love, Beauty and Wildness on this crazy ride we call Life!
“Honouring the Feminine”
P.S. If you are really ready for some deeper work in clearing out and re-aligning with your feminine being take a look at this…