I am a great mum; fair, compassionate, understanding and connected.
Today I feel really proud of myself for all that I do day, after day, after day. It can be so easy to beat up on myself for not doing more, or having more, or providing more and to feel disheartened, or disappointed at all that we miss out on, sacrifice on, or compromise on. However today I can only see all that we have, all that I have created for us and I can only feel pride and gratitude at my strength, resilience and devotion to myself and my family.
I do it every day, I wake up every single morning and I do it again…we aren’t just lucky that we live in a stunning part of the world, or that I have a job that I am really good at and which serves others to come back into their beauty and power, or that we have good friends & family, or a stable life, or very few dramas, or no addictions (bedsides chai tea!), I actually made this happen, luck had nothing to do with it!
“In this 2 income society, I raise my child on my own, as a Mum and a Dad, on a single income!”
Our lives are so RICH, we have so much more than many others do, perhaps not financially but where it really matters, in relationships and connection and emotional availability. We miss out on a lot but we also get to do a lot and we are present and connected while we do it. We mindfully engage in life and do our best to find the pleasures in the small things, whether it’s reading a book together, watching a favourite show, sharing about our day, riding to the cafe for a hot chocolate, or treating ourselves to a rare fish n’ chip dinner.
As an introvert I don’t need others to tell me I’m great and let’s face it, most of what I do as a mother is expected and taken for granted anyway, whether I am single, or in a relationship, so I’d probably be waiting a really long time to hear it. However, what I do need is for ME to stop, every now and then and acknowledge myself and just how much I do and have done, for us to be living this fortunate life! It’s been too long since I’ve really celebrated and embodied this side of it all…
Lately I have been a little bogged down in the ‘unfairness’ of it all. Why do I have to do everything, why doesn’t my daughters Dad actually help more, connect more, support more? Why doesn’t the rest of my daughters family contribute more to her up-bringing, why is everyone OK with it all being my responsibility, especially in the face of all that has happened this year.
How can they still see it as ALL my job, instead of our job, just because I am female? Or just because I am the responsible one?
That line of thinking only leads to resentment and frustration, I know, I’ve been there many times over the last 11 years and you know what? Letting myself stay with this thinking doesn’t actually effect anyone else except me, I am the only one who suffers! And that is the beauty of my recent celebration, it only came through because I chose to stop thinking about what others could be doing to ease my burden and reframed it, to acknowledge just how incredible I am, for doing it all!
So – Yay for me! Usually I wouldn’t share these kinds of moments, because they seem really ego driven, or arrogant, or like I am blowing my own horn but then I thought, this is the moment, this is where my sharing gives others permission to celebrate their greatness too!
Which leads me to my request, I would love to hear from others, on just how grateful and proud they are of themselves as well! Come on, let’s share the self-love today! It’ll just be between you and me…