What is your Love Language?
Whether it’s your relationship with yourself, your partner, your children or your friends, knowing what your Love Language is could make all the difference!
By Shekinah Leigh
What are Love Languages?
They are the idea that each of us have a primary way that we give and receive love. I have spoken to many couples over the years and ‘not feeling loved’ is one of the main reasons for relationships breaking down.
Often the other party feels like they have been loving within their relationship and they just can’t understand why their partner is feeling unappreciated, neglected or taken for granted. Whether its your relationship with yourself, your partner, your children or your friends and co-workers, understanding your own and the other persons Love Language, could be the tool that saves your relationship!
“Feeling unloved, unappreciated and taken for granted are some of the top reasons for people growing apart and relationships failing”.
One of the first things that I teach the girls in the SHAKTI Girls ‘Coming of Age’ Program is their Love Language. They not only have lots of fun doing the quiz, they gain a deeper insight into themselves and increase their self-awareness.
The insights the girls experience can be quite profound when they learn that people can give and receive love in different ways.
These are the 5 basic Love Languages:
- Quality Time
- Words of Affirmation
- Physical Touch
- Acts of Service
You can imagine the communication breakdowns that can occur if two people have different Love Languages and yet no-one is getting their love needs met!
A husband keeps buying his wife gifts and wondering why she still feels taken for granted, all she needs is some quality time together.
A girlfriend keeps making her partner dinner because that is how she shows her love, through acts of service, but he feels unloved because he needs physical touch, like hugs and kisses.
A child is bought everything they ever ask for and still seems unhappy, what they really desire is for Dad to help them with their homework (acts of service), or Mum to watch their favourite TV show together (quality time).
There are many actions and behaviours that can overlap between these 5 areas, so get creative and find the perfect ways that work for you and your loved ones so that it’s a win/win for everyone!
We all want to feel loved…
Learning your Love language isn’t about making excuses for bad behaviour or unloving habits. It is an opportunity to check in with your nearest and dearest so that everyone is feeling loved, connected and appreciated in the language that works best for them!
Being open to changing how you give love so that it meets the others needs more effectively, or learning how to speak up and ask for love in the ways that you need it most, is all a part of learning healthy boundaries, clear communication and the art of giving and receiving so that you can have the best relationship with everyone you care about.
I would love to know what insights you have when you find out what your Love Language is! Please feel free to comment below…