Monthly Archives: April 2018

I am Not a Single Mother!

Aligning with the Feminine...-2The term Single parent is much more accurate but still doesn’t truly reflect the situation of having to be both Mother and Father, sometimes simultaneously, (is that even possible), as I try and raise a child on my own. I am in this constant juggle of wanting to be in my natural femininity of loving and nurturing and being gently aware and connected, which comes up against the other needs of discipline, setting up chore lists and policing them, as well as needing to be on top of my own and my child’s time management, as well as creating and keeping to a schedule, whilst holding space for her emotions, to be the provider emotionally, physically and financially, and all whilst encouraging her beauty and growing maturity and still trying to find time to actually just be me, whatever that is, in this confusing and overwhelming mish mash of ever changing roles and transitions between my own masculine and feminine nature.

“As a single parent I am constantly having to be both…so maybe I am a Fother, or a Mather…there’s got to be a better word!”

To clarify, for me Mothering means being in my feminine (whatever that means to me) and Fathering means to be in my masculine (whatever that means to me)…masculine and feminine are fluid terms for many people.

For some single parents this may not be a bother, however for me, with my Libra Moon and with Libra Rising, I am ALL about the balance and harmony within and without. Couple this with my Leo need to be authentic and in integrity with how and who I am in the world and it can be a crazy making situation! I am all about finding harmony in my relationships, my relationship with self, with life and with others, so I can’t even begin to succinctly describe how hard this balance is to maintain for myself, when I am almost forced to be something I am not, so frequently, within my days, every day, day after day, after day…this is the thing I think people don’t understand when they think about single mothers…

They don’t think about whether we actually ever signed up to a be a father, they don’t think about how much of the time we are required to be something that WE ARE NOT and that we often times become so used to being stuck in this enforced role, this something else, that we forget who we truly are. They don’t think about whether we actually get to be fully juicy, surrendered, open, nourishing and loving women anymore, because who is holding space for that to happen, when we are always holding space for another? And lets not even start on when society does see single mothers as being juicy, open and loving women, the shaming that occurs can be deafening!

I have had enough of being in my masculine and I know I have said this before, but really in this Yang valuing society, it takes constant mindfulness to not just drop into the masculine way of doing things by default…so I am even more eager to gain more clarity on all of the ways that I can quickly and deeply bring myself back into my feminine way of being, for my own health and well-being and so that I can be the role model I actually want to be for my daughter…

So that has forced me to re-evaluate my current list of Yin creating experiences and whether they are working for me or not…this list includes reading fictional books, dancing around like a crazy person to my favourite music, meditating more and creating space to be in my creative flow, without distractions, more often!

I have even had the delight of re-visiting my EMPOWERING the Feminine online course, as well as my free “How to Fill Your Cup” mini immersion and its been quite a relief to realise I’ve done so much of the work already, now it really is just finding ways to remind myself regularly, of what I already know…I would also love to hear about the wicked, wonderful and creative ways you all find to come back into your feminine alignment in the midst of this over-achieving society and our many responsibilities…please share!

Send you all Lots of Love, Beauty and Wildness on this crazy ride we call Life!

 

 Shekinah Leigh
“Honouring the Feminine”

 

P.S. If you are really ready for some deeper work in clearing out and re-aligning with your feminine being take a look at this… 

 

One Year of Healing!

FullSizeRender copyA year ago today I went into surgery to have a cancerous tumour removed from my breast.

For me it was a lesson in letting others help me, in this instance an expert surgeon. I had already spent a few years monitoring the lump and making massive lifestyle changes and yet, even with all that I had done, surgery was still necessary. Up until this moment I had still been trying to do it all myself, to research myself, to heal myself, to go it alone and fix it all my myself…. last year was a humbling year, where I finally realised how important it is to let other people help you, to understand that we are all interconnected and interdependent and to open myself to my community for support.

It was and continues to be a lesson in trusting my own intuition and inner knowing, because every one is an expert on cancer but no one has the cure. Many have cured themselves but their cure doesn’t work for everyone, or it would be THE CURE. You have to learn to listen to what YOUR body needs because it isn’t clear what causes, or heals, this dis-ease within each of us but what is clear is that it is a personal journey, with personal lessons to gain.

“For me, it has been an opportunity to reclaim my power, my life, my choices, and to align once more, with my purpose.”

What a transformation this life threatening diagnosis has been and so this past year has been one of self-nurturing and self-care, not on a superficial level but on a very deep, cellular and life re-affirming level. I knew before but I embody even more now, the knowledge that I need to put myself first more often. I needed to stop trying to be everything and actually value downtime. I had to totally reset my belief systems about love, connection, relationships, work and family responsibilities and obligations. I had to re-learn ways of staying in balance that work for my health and well being and these are all things I probably wouldn’t have done unless it was about living or dying.

Too many women are being diagnosed with cancer, chronic fatigue, burnout, adrenal failure and other debilitating dis-eases because we are using ourselves in ways that we were never meant to. We put more and more pressure on ourselves, we become more and more busy and the slightest time of rest is seen as failure, or laziness, or something to be ashamed of. As a mother, especially as a single mother, the expectations society as a whole and some people in particular placed on me, to constantly perform to impossible standards, or be judged harshly, were huge.

Because lets face it, society encourages people to give and give and give, even when it leads them to an early grave. In the end most just pay lip service to self-love and self-care and so many still treat it like a chore on their to-do list that they will get to eventually, or maybe if it’s a special occasion.

So honouring the feminine is more than just a pleasant thing for me to do, it has become a lifestyle, it is a vital thing to BE every day, as I honour my beauty, my integrity and my alignment with self. I am living with more balance and harmony while becoming more capable of fully trusting my own intuition when it comes to what I need in my life. This is still a work in progress but I now know that when I take the time to check in with myself, I already know what I need and if I can get out of my own way, if I can connect to myself, if I can connect with the divine, if I can choose beauty, than no matter how long or short my life is, it will be meaningful and valuable, not just to me but to others as well.

So on this anniversary of life-changing events, I encourage you to start putting yourself first. Not for a day, or a week, or a month, but FOREVER! And not in a way where you don’t care about anyone else, but in a way that has you choosing alignment with your souls purpose, with your inner being, where you are tuned in and tapped in to your emotions and what your body is telling you, so that you are healthy and happy from the inside out!

Loving life and all its lessons!

Shekinah Leigh ~ Honouring the Feminine

P.S. Whether it’s through sacred and nurturing bodywork, or understanding and integrating life lessons through my online courses, Honouring the Feminine, is about honouring the Divine Alignment with Self…because that is where the Magic is!