This is what a woman post menopause looks like and I want to normalise the stigma around it.
My own journey has felt embarrassing, shameful, and challenging because, let’s face it, you aren’t supposed to go through menopause until you are OLD! And so therefor no matter what age you go through it, it means you’ve just turned OLD…damn! I thought I was good at not getting caught up in stereotypes or societies dysfunctional stories around women, but this one got me!
Maybe it was the cancer that brought it on early, maybe years of stress, maybe because of having a short menstrual cycle for so long. Perhaps it’s my bodies wisdom, or something spiritual, or something shamanic!
Whatever it is, it has been a rite of passage experience. There’s been a death, an initiation, a gooey mess, insights, epiphanies, tears, laughter, understanding, acceptance, joy, transformation and a renewed sense of self…yes a big part of my old identity has had to drop away, ok to be honest, it’s still sloughing off in bits and pieces coz I have held on tenaciously to the energetic, passionate, vibrant, independent and creative woman I always thought myself to be and I desperately didn’t want to lose her.
“The changes of ‘The Change’ are still happening and may for some time.”
The changes of ‘The Change’ are still happening and may for some time. In some ways, coming so early, it has been like a ‘midlife crisis’ for me. An opportunity to re-evaluate all I am, all I stand for, and all I think I should be. There has been a LOT of surrender, many moments of softening (and then hardening) and then softening again.
A large part of me is so ready to go into semi-retirement. My energy levels say it’s time to slow down and rest and just BE more. But the woman who is in her 40’s (that’s me) is still expected to raise her child, run her business, be active in society and rush around doing all of the things.
And there you have it! The old paradigm that resting and BEing isn’t valuable or something you should seek to do until you are old, past it, no longer in your prime.
Well I say F that! Years of stress and adrenal overload have taught me new ways. New ways of cultivating energy, new ways of showing up in the world, new ways of valuing my offerings, new ways of being me. And I believe whole heartedly that the BEST is yet to come! And it will look and feel different, it has too.
So to the women who can’t admit to themselves that they are going through menopause, or even peri-menopause, who feel challenged, deflated, exhausted, embarrassed or ashamed, I am here to break through this taboo! This society imposed stigma that says when we can no longer birth we are no longer of value. If we are no longer fertile then we can no longer birth at all. It’s a lie! They know how powerful the wise women are and it scares them. We can still be juicy, vibrant, ecstatic, loving, and sensual women…it is a catalyst for CHANGE, as all rites of passages are! And spirit tells me that they can’t wait for us to be in our 50’s to access our deep embodied wisdom, the world needs it NOW!
After midwifing my own journey, and still holding space for the on-going changes, I feel honoured to be able to provide beautiful ceremony to support others in their transition too. Let me know if this feels like something you need support with and I encourage you, as much as possible, to enjoy the journey.
Come and re-wyld with me x
Shekinah Leigh
Kahuna Massage Specialist * Civil Marriage Celebrant * Shamanic Practitioner * Ceremonial Guide
Book Recommendations for Peri-menopause and Menopause
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