Supporting ALL Women
Counselling, Mentoring and Specialty Treatments
What does supporting ALL women mean?
I know what it’s like to be a woman, I have 48 years of lived experience as a female. I’m not going to hold back here or censor myself because this information needs to be shared. I am aware that some of the language I use might not be what is trending on socials, or what some generations resonate with. But this is a time for truth speaking.
LIVED EXPERIENCE
I have decades of experience working hands on with women through all walks and facets of life.
- Puberty, when I was running girls ‘coming of age’ circles and workshops (and my own of course)
- Pregnancy and holding ‘sacred birth’ gatherings.
- Birth and Post Natal support through yoga, massage, matrescence mentoring, and a specifically designed online course for mothers.
- Birth Trauma support and Birth Story reframing through so many modalities, but my favourite was with Birthing from Within.
- I have supported women through marriages (I’m a marriage celebrant), and separations.
- I have been there during cancer diagnosis, treatments and loved ones passing (end of life doula).
- I have been on the front line of menopause and breaking the taboo of speaking the reality of what women face every day.
- And when I was in my late teens and early 20’s I was advocating for womens’ rights, equality and fair representation in the workplace and society.
“Our society is not designed to meet women’s needs”
WHY WE NEED A HOLISTIC APPROACH
This 24/7, busy, constantly available, social media worthy, daily grind, hustle, emotional labour, invisible work, nervous system overload society is NOT made for women’s optimal health and well-being. And I know that MANY women can feel like they are thriving in their 20’s and 30’s, being the boss girl, juggling work and family and self-care. But I am here to tell you, that pace is NOT sustainable. Because while men are using naturally occurring testosterone, on a 24-hour renewable cycle, to fuel their drive and daily patterns, women are using their adrenals to assist, or even bear the full load, of the hyper paced lifestyle we are expected to live. This leads to chronic illness, undiagnosable issues, disease, burn out and if it doesn’t get you beforehand, it will probably make your menopausal years a nightmare. Because that is actually the time when the adrenals are supposed to take over some of the workload of the ovaries and sex hormones. But guess what, they can’t if they have already been used and abused (take it from someone who knows). If you didn’t know this already, women’s bodies are more complicated, we have a monthly cycle with ups and downs, ins and outs, ebbs and flows, this is opposed to men’s 24hr circadian rhythm, which is what our usual workplace environments are based on.
Now we can treat the symptoms that women get (sometimes), and of course quick relief is always welcome. But we must face the elephant in every room. We must shine the light on the cause of so many women’s ailments…
OUR SOCIETY IS NOT DESIGNED FOR WOMEN’S NEEDS
I know lots of people might not like this conversation, however I said I wasn’t going to hold back! We live in a patriarchal system in Australia (and most of the western world). For those of you who don’t understand what Patriarchy actually is. It is a social, economic, and political system where men hold primary power. This can be through politics, legislation, social privileges, property control, financial control, violence, intimidation, and being remunerated more highly for the same, or less work. It can also look like avoiding responsibilities from child rearing to child support and having personal behaviours (like rape) excused by blaming the victim for making you do it and having the judicial system support this perspective. It is a system that undervalues inherent feminine behaviour (yes both men and women have what we call ‘feminine’ traits) and a system that has gone to great lengths to exclude women from the upper levels of power (politics, business, all large institutions). It can manifest through traditional gender roles, unequal wages, and the normalization of male dominance in both public and private life.
Now I know what you are going to say, it’s not like that anymore and we shouldn’t be man bashing. Firstly, if you are thinking this is man bashing, it is time to change your perspective. We cannot keep dismissing women’s needs because those needs don’t align with what works for men. We all need to be taken care of in the ways that our physiology requires. It’s that simple. It’s not hateful, or misandry, or discriminatory. Secondly, you only have to take 10 mins to look at what is happening around the world to know that we do not live on a planet were women are regularly and predominately treated like respected and honoured members of ALL parts of society. Whether it is making choices about our own bodies, being fully supported to raise children without it impacting our earnings, superannuation and old age requirements, being respected in the workplace for our unique skills and behaviours, having medical research focused on women’s needs through all stages of life, having clear and timely representation for womens requirements in politics (not just token women who toe the party line), and that freedom to not being afraid that a new government, or legislation, or under the table bill, can take away all of our hard won rights in one fell swoop (like is happening in America).
Through institutions, relationships, workplaces, medical practitioners, and those who I have given the most love and care to, I have been sexually harassed, discriminated against, abused, disrespected, ridiculed, shamed, and blamed within the home and outside of it. I have had to learn how to keep myself safe no matter where I go, what I’m doing or who I am doing it with. I have had to censor my truth, dull my shine, and sacrifice some of my hearts deepest desires to meet other people’s needs. And I have had to fund my own wellness when all of that abuse and neglect manifested in the body at different stages of life. From breast cancer to early menopause, or in even simpler ways like chronic inflammation, gut health, depression, and anxiety.
LET’S WALK THE TALK TOGETHER
I have taken a deep dive into what works for a LOT of women. I have approached our wellness from every angle. I have integrated and embodied the science and the woo woo. And I am here to say…
Enough is enough. We are not inferior men. We are not the weaker sex. We are not ‘lazy’ men. We birth EVERY human being on this planet! We have put up with more abuse, exploitation, subjugation, and mistreatment than any other demographic on the planet EVER! And yet most women still show up to raise children, engage lovingly in relationships, and add value to society in every way we possibly can, usually to the detriment of our own health and well-being; mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally, financially, and sexually.
THE NERVOUS SYSTEM AND WHY IT’S IMPORTANT
Yes, it’s the hot topic right now, but there is a good reason for that. Our nervous systems are wired differently to men on a biological level. Studies suggest females may experience larger, faster, and more lasting physiological stress responses. Recovery takes us longer, but how can we recover?
We MUST FEEL SAFE to be healthy. And how do we feel safe?
We all have our nuances of course, but generally speaking women’s nervous systems need a combination of secure connections, environmental predictability, and consistent routines. This allows our parasympathetic system to switch on and take us from fight/flight/fawn to rest and repair. This means we NEED physical safety, emotional safety, autonomy, and our own personal intuitive self-care rhythms to be respected. This includes agency over our bodies, life choices and boundaries. This can be as simple as choosing when you go to sleep and when you wake up!
How much of this do you get? How much of this sounds possible?
There is a massive missing piece in many women’s lives. It involves our nervous system, our hearts, our minds, our bodies, our relationships, our jobs, our roles, our dreams, our desires, our responsbilites and our soul’s purpose. It often requires a devotion to self (even when others tell you it’s selfish). And it can require an unlearning, an unravelling of who you thought you should be, so that you can be who you are meant to be. In your full radiance and shining as a woman, no matter what that looks like in life.
LET’S THRIVE TOGETHER!
THRIVING in this world takes a multi layered approach. And it can be incredibly confusing because we are not linear beings, we are a network within a network and every phase of life, every transition, every transformation, can require a different kind of support.
Puberty | Pregnancy | Birth | Post-Partum | Perimenopause | Menopause | End of Life | Separation |Loss
If you are looking for genuine, authentic, women-centred, holistic, respectful, non-judgmental care and support, I am the woman for you! I am so happy to discuss what this can look like, just contact me via email, or book in directly for a session with me.
And if you can’t find a day or time that’s offered, that will work for you, let me know and I will do my best to align with your needs.
Sending you all so much love,
Shekinah Leigh
Kahuna Massage Specialist * Holistic Counsellor * Civil Marriage Celebrant * Shamanic Practitioner * Ceremonial Guide
Book Recommendations for Peri-menopause and Menopause
